| Valentine's Day can be a depressing day
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| | and engender respect, making you a more
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| when you're in an unhappy or shaky
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| | desirable partner.
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| marriage. In every store or advertisement
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| | 4. Accept uncertainty and see it as an
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| you see romantic cards, heart-shaped
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| | opportunity to flex your faith muscles,
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| boxes of candy, or select jewelry for the
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| | build resiliency, and develop the
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| special lover's day.
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| | discipline to live in the present moment
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| Restaurants publish their special menus
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| | as much as possible. With practice, you
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| in advance and give food items names such
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| | can learn to curb your tendency to worry
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| as "lover's delight chocolate dessert."
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| | about the future and can expand more of
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| Radio stations sponsor contests focused
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| | your energy into making the most of the
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| around the theme of Valentine's Day, and
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| | time you have now. Everyone has periods
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| newspapers run pictures and stories about
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| | of time when everything is up in the air
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| spouses with long marriages. Everywhere
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| | and how things will turn out is unknown.
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| you turn, you are bombarded with pictures
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| | And as poet Walt Whitman reminds us, "The
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| and stories of happy lovers.
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| | future is no more uncertain than the
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| What can you do to survive Valentine's
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| | present."
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| Day when you are worried sick that your
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| | 5. Practice having fun, even when you're
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| marriage is on the rocks? How do you deal
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| | feeling miserable! Don't wait until your
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| with all the love hoopla when your spouse
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| | life is perfect to plan fun activities.
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| doesn't know if he or she really loves
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| | Do something that you've wanted to do but
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| you or wants to stay married?
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| | have put off. You might have said to
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| The following seven tips will help you to
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| | yourself, "One day I'm going to take
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| keep your perspective and sanity:
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| | piano lessons." Now is the time to get
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| 1. Be your own valentine this year and
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| | started. Make a list of things that you'd
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| celebrate the wonderful person that you
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| | enjoy doing and pick one to put on your
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| are. Make an appointment to have a
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| | schedule. One of the biggest mistakes you
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| massage or pedicure on Valentine's Day as
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| | can make is to wait and see what happens
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| a present to yourself. Or make plans with
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| | in your marriage before you take steps to
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| a friend to dine at a gourmet restaurant
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| | create a more satisfying life. The time
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| either on Valentine's Day or the day
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| | to start enjoying life is now.
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| before. Buy yourself a new CD or book
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| | 6. Expand your support circle. Stay in
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| that you've been wanting. Leave work
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| | touch with your friends, even though your
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| early, if possible, and do something fun
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| | first impulse may be to withdraw when
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| such as going to a movie in the middle of
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| | you're feeling blue. Look for ways to
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| the work afternoon.
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| | increase your contact with others such as
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| 2. Make a commitment to love yourself and
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| | taking a night class, going hiking with a
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| to treat yourself with care and respect.
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| | local hiking group, or attending services
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| Resolve to take good care of yourself by
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| | at your church, synagogue, or mosque.
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| exercising, eating right, taking time to
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| | Don't let fear of questions keep you at
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| relax and see friends, and getting enough
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| | home. You can be discrete and give a
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| rest. Throw any martyr tendencies out the
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| | response such as, "I can't get into it,
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| window and make your health and wellbeing
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| | but I appreciate your caring and concern
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| a top priority. This is not being
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| | so very much. Thank you."
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| selfish. If you don't nurture yourself
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| | 7. Find your strong woman or strong man
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| first, you won't be in any shape to give
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| | warriorenergy. Go rappelling, learn to
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| quality energy and time to your marriage.
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| | scuba dive, ride in a hot air balloon,
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| 3. Commit to being okay no matter what
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| | try para-sailing, plan a backpacking
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| happens in your marriage. It's essential
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| | trip, go horseback riding, lift weights,
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| that you make yourself a promise that
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| | explore river rafting, dance around a
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| you'll have a quality life with or
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| | campfire, sing powerful songs, or sign up
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| without your spouse. By showing respect
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| | for a martial arts class. Do whatever
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| for yourself and belief in your ability
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| | empowers you and make you feel strong and
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| to thrive whether married or not, you'll
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| | energetic. Stretch out of your comfort
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| be coming from a place of empowerment and
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| | zone and surprise yourself by doing
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| strength. The attributes of personal
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| | something different. Then congratulate
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| strength and confidence attract others
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| | yourself for your spunk.
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