| When speaking with potential clients during | | | | the room started buzzing with energy, and Chandler |
| exploratory sessions, I often ask them what their | | | | realized that saying "no" was, in this case, more |
| "ideal life" would look like. Without fail, they are taken | | | | powerful than saying "yes." "Saying no is drawing a |
| aback: it seems they've never thought about their life | | | | line in the sand; it is taking a stand against what you |
| in those terms - is that even allowed?! Apparently | | | | absolutely fear and dread and refuse to let into your |
| the self-help gurus are right: people put more thought | | | | life." |
| into planning their vacations than they do their lives. | | | | So make a list of what you don't like about your |
| It seems preposterous that someone would go to | | | | current life (e.g. two-hour commute, deskbound job, |
| the airport at the beginning of their vacation and hop | | | | distance from family), then flip to its opposite, |
| on a random flight to the destination that everyone | | | | positive version and start from there. |
| else seems to be headed - and yet that is the | | | | 2. The world is your catalog. To stimulate your |
| approach that many people seem to take with their | | | | imagination and expand your idea of what's possible - |
| lives. Why is that? Why do many of us not even | | | | whether it's in the realm of wealth, adventure, |
| contemplate what an ideal life would look like? Is it | | | | creativity, relaxation or fitness - you will need to do |
| such an impossibility? Or are we simply pre-empting | | | | some research. |
| the disappointment and potential embarrassment of | | | | Magazines, books, songs, movies, blogs and, of |
| pursuing our dreams and not achieving them. | | | | course, other people... inspiration can be found |
| Michael Neill, author of You Can Have What You | | | | everywhere. I collect photos and articles that |
| Want, says: "When it comes to going for what we | | | | represent my ideal life, and instead of feeling envious |
| want in life, many of us suffer from what I call | | | | when someone has something I want, I think: "What |
| 'premature practicality.' While part of us is genuinely | | | | a good idea!' and add it to my list. |
| excited at the idea of focusing in on what we would | | | | 3. Imagine an "ideal day." If it's too daunting to |
| really love to be, do and have in our lives, the rest of | | | | imagine every aspect of an ideal life, why not start |
| us is busy trying to figure out how on earth we're | | | | with your idea of "the ideal day." Get very specific: |
| going to get it. We calculate the odds, decide that it | | | | How and with whom would you spend it? What |
| is unlikely at best and put it out of our minds as best | | | | would you wear, eat, read, watch and talk about? |
| we can." | | | | How would you want to feel? Write it down, flesh it |
| Well, your ideal life is certainly unlikely to happen if | | | | out, in glorious detail. |
| you don't even give yourself permission to think | | | | Now, how could you incorporate some of these |
| about it. Thanks to the changing nature of work and | | | | elements into your life right now? (Signing up for |
| leisure - and the advent of phenomena like the | | | | weekly Portuguese lessons, for example, in |
| Internet, wireless communication, a "free-agent" | | | | preparation for opening your own scuba diving shop |
| nation and globalism - there are limitless forms it could | | | | in Rio de Janeiro.) Like adding a drop of Kool-Aid to a |
| take. Still, while the universe has infinite possibilities at | | | | glass of water, having one small element of your life |
| its beck and call, it needs some guidance from you. | | | | be "ideal" will energize and color the whole. |
| Here are four ways to get started: | | | | 4. Be happy where you are. That's right, you don't |
| 1. Think negative. Counter-intuitive as it sounds, | | | | have to wait for your ideal life to be happy - isn't |
| Steve Chandler, author of ,100 Ways to Motivate | | | | that a relief?! Because it's not about experiencing a |
| Yourself, discovered the power of the negative in | | | | sense of lack, but rather feeling excitement about |
| one of his goal achievement workshops. With | | | | the ongoing creation of your life as your "research" |
| everyone struggling to come up with some goals, he | | | | uncovers new possibilities. As in: "I'm totally satisfied. I |
| turned the tables and told them to write down | | | | just want more." Once you've achieved Ideal Life, |
| everything they didn't want in their lives. Suddenly | | | | Version 1.0, simply repeat as desired. |